Thanks for responding...and I know you are right about the old friend. I have tried to talk to my husband about separation and it is like he doesn't want to hear it. I am clearly one foot out of the marriage, but I don't want to do anything that will hurt him or anyone else. But is staying in the marriage out of guilt healthy? Then there is the other problem that I can't leave anyway because of finances. So I'm stuck. We have already been to counseling for a few months, and I have agreed to start up again, and we went to counseling in 2004 or so. It's not that we haven't tried, and as much as I want my family to be together, I want them to be together healthy, not like it is today. With therapy we communicate better for a little bit and then fall back into old routines. That's both of our faults, but this will be the third time we've tried to "fix" what's wrong. At what point do you just accept it for what it is and peacefully say goodbye?