Welcome to PC You've gotten some pretty good advice here so far, and I don't have a lot to add except sympathy. Five months ago, I was pretty much where you are now: newly diagnosed, starting on meds, still feeling down, and wondering if this was as good as it was ever going to get.

Not only that, but I was having a terrible time coming to grips with the "forever" aspect of this thing and grieving the loss of the "me" I'd believed myself to be for 53 years. I only recently accepted the diagnosis and the fact that I have to be medicated in order to live my best life with this disorder. Sometimes it takes a lot longer than that to get to this level of acceptance......every BPer has their own timetable.

Even medicated, there will still be times when moods are unstable; you'll still have some 'highs', as well as lows, but you'll learn how to use that extra energy during the high times and regroup during the downtimes. (I haven't got that second part down yet, but the first part is really easy. )

And, keep coming back here to PC, where there are folks just like you, who wrestle with the same demons you do, who can help. (It's always easier to 'fix' someone else's problems than to address our own, yes?)