Hi Earthmamma

I relate to this. When my first and former ts went on a break I'd feel so angry with them and really alone and rejected. All I could think of was how terrible they were for leaving me. Former t would become a bit defensive saying 'well I want a break' which made it harder. But like you I survived these times.

My current t is now on a break. It's hard and I miss her. But from an adult place I know she needs one and I genuinely wish her a relaxing time. I'm pleased the weather is so nice for her. I know that she needs a break in order to be fully present with me when we return to our work together. And I know she needs time away for herself and her family. Those are perspectives I couldn't have embraced in the past. Knowing those things helps me feel empowered as an adult. But it has taken a lot of pain to get here.