((F0rever-unhappy))
I know this may not mean a lot, but by hurting yourself does nothing for improvement.

It sounds like your mom is ignorning the problem as well.....

Do you by chance have councils at your school that you attend that you could go to?
I know when I was in school- I never dreamed of talking to one, but I think that was a flaw with in myself-- so I would encourage you to.

Police may be able to do something if something is happening, sibling stuff is hard-- Or at least in the '90's it was-- My brothers used to have blood bashes with trying to kill each other physically with fighting and throwing chairs-- once a while they got arrested for domestic violence... or going at the cop when they arrived. nice memories, BUT that is not to Discourage you from calling the police-- but just saying if it does not have the out come that is wished for-- Continue please to take care of yourself.


The self harm to yourself, freaking out, the angry with it all.....


Trigger due to self harm


One time my brother started with down grading me, calling me things, it is all my fault as usual, I am the problem-- I make him get so mad-- blah blah blah blah--- I was a stuck up lil b, and so on-- He used to use a lot of projection- things that were really in him that he blamed on me, horrible things--- Well one day I was so angry I threw some things, then I got out my knife and sliced up arms due to so upset- he had made me so uspet with helping ME believing that I was worthless.... As I walked to the bath room to clean up some of the blood off me- he saw, he just got so much more angry and started with name calling again and that "i needed serious help" but in that mean way not supportive way.. For me it was twisting thinking-- I could not do anything about his anger, I was so hurt and he tore me down really good that day and I wanted to die due to I was starting to believe him, he scared me, he still scares me, harming myself,

as I look back on it a from years ago-- I was just hurting me.... I was not hurting him- sadly with my brother this just gave him more power- in the sense that he HAD touched that soft spot in me and he knew he could attack it.. he did many times after- but I stood up more with knowing what he was doing was his problems really, his projecting things onto me-- cutting myself was a part of a control thing with me as well-- but over time, I really learned, I can control more with not being so hurtful to myself.

With that being said-- I know in the MOMENT is So damn hard to sit and count to 10 to calm down, It is so hard sometimes to say- I am leaving this fight, and walking out the door when he starts up with a fight-- BUT It Does Get Easier at times --- and when you get old enough you can leave, you don't have to live with him any more which may help with fighting...

I am not sure if any of this is helpful but I do wish you to find some out side help--- even a simply a friend perhaps to go talk to, some one at school, or something.

Many well wishes your way.....