Briefly spoke with T. It didn't help, just made me feel like an idiot/*****/lunatic. She insists she was just 'challenging' me, because that's what therapists do. She can't understand why I'd take 'were you not being truthful' to be an accusation of lying, or an indication that she didn't believe me. She can't understand why that would upset me so much. I don't mind admitting that I overreacted, but it's like I have to take all the blame. She admitted that sometimes she gets it wrong, but that was in reference to what happened in session, how she worded a question which led me to give a different answer than what she expected - but I don't understand why she couldn't challenge it at that point, rather than seeming to question my integrity afterwards - which she says she wasn't doing. And she's upset that I took it the wrong way. So whilst technically apologising for upsetting me, it's in a way that makes me feel guilty and like a total cow, like I'm throwing everything she's done back in her face - to which she said 'don't worry, I can take it'... I don't WANT her to take anything!! I don't want to be a complete ***** to her and then her continue to pretend like that's fine. I want us to honestly like each other, I want the relationship to be authentic - which I thought it was - but now I feel like, how can I believe it is? If she's just as nice to me if I'm a ***** as if I'm a star pupil, then something's off, isn't it?! I don't feel understood anymore. It's like I've thrown her for a loop. I guess I expected her to read back what she wrote and be like 'oh, gawd, can see why she might have thought that' and then say what she meant, but no, she's standing by it, just doesn't see why it should upset me so much. Yes, I know it upset me more than it would upset the average person, but I can't believe she doesn't see why THAT would upset ME. She had to go, because she's got visitors arriving, but I can email her! She'll only pick it up Sunday night though. I wanted to ask for an earlier session than Wednesday, because it seems a long time for it to be unresolved, but I don't know what would be worse at this point - facing T or not facing T.