hankster, do you ever go to the Y? At ours, they have this "safe place" sign, and it shows what is supposed to be an adult doing the backwards hug on a kid. To me, it looks like an adult grabbing the kid's breast area from behind, and it totally creeps me out. Just the thought of the backwards hug makes me short of breath.

I am so, so glad it works for you and I hope I find something that makes me feel that way. The closest I think I have come is when my husband hugs me and I can tuck my face into his neck and hide my eyes. Most of the fleeting moments of safety I have felt have been doing that (or sitting in therapy with my T between me and door - god knows what boogerman I think is going to be trying to get in that door, but it makes me feel better when T is between me and the door).