I found those books REALLY difficult. And actually ended up throwing them away

It's super hard for me to feel safe. I've felt safe on vacation with my family - camping, in our tent, at night, or all together in a hotel room or on the beach. I'm not sure why it's different from my own house...maybe it's the extra connection we have with each other when it's just the 5 of us out of our normal environment.

I feel safe with T, sometimes. Yesterday near the end of session he did an exercise with me to help me calm down and get out of the hypervigilant place I was in, and while we did it, I slowly started to feel safe. We sat on the couch for a few minutes and he wrapped me up in his arms and told me to breathe and I felt SUPER SAFE....like I could just drift off to sleep and everything would be okay.

I love, love, love the feeling of being safe. I wish I could find more ways to feel that in my day to day life.