After thinking about some of the posts I've made lately, and doing some research online.. it dawned on me what is happening.

I am a very straight male in that I crave only girls. I cringe at a guy even touching me.

I once though I was a tranny and was intimate with them but it felt uncomfortable so I realize it was just a temporary fetish and I really just want to be with a girl and always did.

HOWEVER....

1) whenever I talk to a girl I sound girly and just like one of them. I even talk
about girly stuff like how I went to yoga class or about my feelings, etc.

2) I am extremely thin and have a body of an 18-year-old girl, even though I'm a 31 year old guy!!

3) In a few sexual episodes with an actual girl, I simply could not keep it up and I think this turned them off. It was embarrasing I must admit.

4) I NEVER hang with the boys, did not play sports in school, and never 'throw down a beer' on a friday night. weird, right?

So how can I regain some testosterone naturally and start to be a man again. I know that deep down this is what a girl wants is to be with a man not someone like me. This gender awareness problem has affected me on the job too... I never felt like I fit in with the guys.