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Did you feel close to your T before the 4 wk break? Did you struggle with the gap in t? Was your T suggesting that because you fought and won these battles show that you fit borderline traits as you are capable of having such experiences? Sounds like a cinfusing time... all the best!!
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I did feel close to him. Before he went away we had a great talk about our relationship and he reassured me of my fears of losing him. I struggled a bit. Some days I was okay and some I was not. Those were mostly circumstantial and feeling like I was unable to reach out to him. I felt a bit lost I guess.
No, that's not why T was suggesting Borderline. We have talked about that diagnosis in the past and as well as complex trauma.
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that is a LOT to try to do on a first session back, wow. I would be in a bubble bath eating chocolates for the rest of the weekend. it's like you ran a therapy double marathon. a hug is not enough, here's a massage 
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Thanks hankster! I actually just made a chocolate fudge cake!
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You said you missed him but don't feel close to him. What did you miss? I'm just curious I'm not trying to be snarky.
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I missed him while he was away. I missed being able to reach out and have him there, and I missed seeing him. Missed him making me laugh.
I didn't feel close to him in my session yesterday. I'm not sure why. I was just very detached from the whole process. Maybe I need more time to feel that closeness again.
I feel like I am doing something wrong being so distant from my emotions when in that room.
I am scared to email him my thoughts and stuff now because of how different there are when I'm around him. I kind of feel like a freak!