Did he meet with another woman or was he a no show. My Husband say's I see the good in everything. Even the ugly est of things. If he was a no show that changes things. It is not as big of an issue. Infidelity if he did meet someone, close if he didn't. It's worth talking about your boundaries of what is acceptable and what is not.

A lack of sex drive could be a problem. I have no sex drive so this situation is reversed in my case. Your H has no sex drive but looks at porn. Have you asked him about it? Could he be trying to increase his sexual appetite to be more available to you? Is that something you can explore with him to open lines of communication. Maybe there is something there he likes and would be open to trying and doesn't know how to tell you.

As terrible as this sounds I an relate and my H is o.k. with that. I have never gone outside of our marriage though. If your H did then you have got a whole different set of problems on your hands. I could be way off base here to. Maybe there is some deeper issue. Maybe it is just as terrible as you suspect and if that is the case I am sorry he has hurt you and I am sorry if anything I suggested has hurt you. I hope yall get things figured out.