(((((Sunne))))) Don't feel like a freak. You're just protecting yourself. It sounds like it hurt when he went away. Like maybe you felt abandoned? You should talk about that with him. Process those feelings with him. It's hard but tell him that you felt closer with him Before the four weeks. The only way you'll know is if you talk about it. It's hard but after you learn to share those feelings with him it makes it a lot easier to feel better faster.