For the last year I've been discovering a new me, a new world and a new understanding. I have always felt at home in therapy, Ts office has been my home and my blanket to protect me from the world and to protect me from myself. My real home is not a home at all but a source of misery and pain so you can imagine the relief that therapy brought me.

I am considering leaving therapy but I know when I do my world will flip upside down... I will be alone again; alone in a chaotic place, with my self-destructive mind to guide me. In other words, I will be completely lost.

I am so afraid but what am I supposed to do? What do you do when you choose to leave a therapist... when you know you can go back at any time but you also know it isn't right. It's like quitting drugs, but at least I had my therapist when I did that. I don't know what to do. I have these questions stuck in my head, where will I go when I can't go home to my Ts office, where will I ever feel safe again, how can I handle being all alone again? I'll have no one to call when I'm crying and scared, no one to talk to when I have thoughts, no one to hold me while I cry and to hug me when I've been without physical contact all week.

I'm going in Monday to quit. I feel like I have to give up on life, thinking about it makes me want to kill myself or just cry. I don't know if I'm sad that I have to quit or sad that I lost what could have been a healing relationship.

Has anyone had to leave a T?