I can relate to what you are feeling but I'm not sure I can help you with it. I think shame is something people are conditioned to accept, whether it is merited or not. I don't know how to advise you on not accepting shame that isn't merited. I'm not even sure shame is ever merited. Nothing you described sounds shameful. It may be disappointing... to you.
And I don't see any whining at all there... and I have a pretty low tolerance for whining.