Hi,
I'm so sorry you're having to go through this! Please find someone else to help you deal with the loss of this t, someone caring with good boundaries and who you can trust. It might take months to build the relationship, but it's worth it if it will help you heal, which with the right t you can!
I've switched ts before. I worked for over two years with someone, who I loved deeply (like a mother) but who I realized in the end was emotionally abusive and had poor boundaries. And she wasn't even licensed so there was no board to report her to! That loss was so hard. I went right from her to someone else, with only a couple weeks in between. This person was great for a while, really helped with family issues and other things. But ended up being too defensive whenI'd bring up issues she claims she wasn't trained to help me with, (like filling out forms for the state mental health department and writing a diagnosis!)
So I left her, and then luckily could go and see an intern at the college counseling center who turned out to be wonderful! At the same time I was seeing her I was also seeing my voice movement therapist and we have a solid relationship so for a time I was well covered andfeel this arrangement of two ts was very benificial to me.
Since June I've been in Chicago, and so left VMT t because of the move. And I'm struggling. And finding someone isn't easy when you have almost no money that isn't tied up in rent and medicade has limeted choices. But I hope to find something soon.
Please get the help you deserve, and if you want to talk more aboutleaving an abusive t PM me. I know what you're going through.