(sometimes weird stuff comes out of my mind....but there is no need to justify here so...

...people refer to this as a "state they might find themselves in"

if perhaps and just maybe the crap hits the fan a bit and flings poop around the immediate situation!

..."oh i did this with reckless abandon I ...wow...I really let go!" (omg!!)

they might say as they drove 10 over the limit or drank two extra glasses of alcohol watched a movie full of drug refences maybe even smoked a joint!...slept in twice or spent that spare change on a dirty book or stayed up all night or pissed in the street or farted in a group or threw up on the cat or forgot who they were for 3 seconds or didn't answer the phone or when they did said "get stuffed!"...or changed jobs twice maybe...or said hello to the neighbour while fantasising about punching them in the face and drowning at least one of their children in their pool!...thinking they saw a ghost lets tell! or staring at a dead body for a bit or not having a shower for two days or brushing their teeth with a finger or giving a complete stranger the finger.

I don't know?

..throwing a cigarette butt over the fence, not wearing a bra!...not wearing underwear not caring not shaving not paying a bill not giving a hoot!....hating the world thinking about death for a minute...sleeping around smoking that same old joint again that was never finished!....

pumping up the credit card, breaking something hating something...

wanting to....(now we cross over to the bipolar world>.........

kill ourselves and actually having a go!....drinking for a month taking more drugs than the entire suburb...

spending money ours and theirs, crashing our cars sometimes by accident...hating all day week and year dying every night deep down perplexing over what to say so just say F' it!

catch planes to nowhere destroy things come back ....stand in court yes sir no sir locked up for a slightly bad mood ....injured ouch who did it? I love you....it's ok I'm busy being crazy

sleeping in for eleventy seven weeks eating biscuits for 3 of them feeling safe in the back of a police car knowing how to spell hospital sedatives learning how to unbuckle a restraint after twelve hours....making best friends in seconds making enemies even quicker....

being scared like really scared...not knowing who the F you are for 10 years...sitting on or in a bus wondering something seriously is wrong here hyperventilating wanting to go home but home sucked lets send an x-partner 100 messages!

hanging out with ghosts whenever they decide to hang out with you.....getting so horny you could run into walls really fast and still be excited

having 50 jobs! not all at once but sometimes 3...the rest of the time nothing feeling better in psych wards until you actually arrive this is my holiday?

staying up for days and days ...wondering whats sleep whats not being exhausted but the body is still moving....I have things to do I'm not useless I made plans where did they go? ignore the neighbour ignore their kids ignore the cats throw up on myself....fold up shirts I won't wear but I love the person who gave them to me.....slide...slide into depression it's nothing so far....

sad with reckless abandon!

forgetting to eat forgetting the time the sun is the moon it's no longer noon... feeling like Jesus feeling like the devil feeling like a rest and just doing your best.

wow I forgot ...once again what I'm on about?...oh well!