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Old Apr 08, 2004, 12:34 AM
alm15 alm15 is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2004
Location: PA, USA
Posts: 115
Hi Darrel. I'm sorry you're hurting. It's so hard when I have to talk about or justify my past, especially to someone I'm not close. I've been unable to work at all for 9 years. When I applied for social security I had to write down every job I had and what happened. I was horrified when I looked at the list and realized that I had left every job due to my illness. I've attempted going back to work and school over the years, always with the same result. I get depressed and agoraphobic. I started working when I was 13. To not be able to work now, sometimes is really hard for me. I feel like a failure and a waste. It's at those times I need to focus on what I am able to do. This usually requires someone helping me to remember why I'm using precious air. And what I usually come to is the friends that I have and my daughter and how much I mean to those people. I know it's hard when God or the Universe's plan looks really dismal. But if I reflect on my life I usually see that there were reasons for things that I couldn't see at the time. I hope you can find some peace My thoughts will be with you. Annie