I think there's a large difference between a T "dismissing" a real concern, like "don't worry about setting things on fire" versus "dismissing" a fact that the T sees differently, such as said client is a "monster." I think part of the T job is to reality-check and point out their perception of said fact. I don't think of that as dismissing, but as offering their opinion. And if client feels that is dismissing, they are always free to say, hey, I'd like to talk some more about what a monster I am.

My T does court-ordered therapy for abusive parents as part of her practice. Sometimes I go in and say something like "I told my daughter at 9:30pm that I was too tired to talk about the issue that was upsetting her any more, and we could continue the next day. I am a neglectful parent to put my need for sleep above her immediate happiness." T said something like, nonsense, I spend many hours in here with a father who let his three year old play in the street and refused to clean up the house to the point where his 10 year old couldn't sleep because of the sound of mice eating at night. If you want to be "neglectful" you're going to need to do a lot better than sending your kid away after you've already talked for 2 hours and she's still saying the same thing over and over. So I completely disagree that this wasn't therapeutic for me; it was, it gave me perspective and it gave me a sense that I was being too hard on myself as a parent.

I just don't agree that T's "shouldn't" do many things that people on this board sometimes decry as bad. I object to the absoluteness of these statements and I don't think that anyone can legitimately say, with those obvious exceptions of taking advantage of people sexually or emotionally, that T's "shouldn't" do x,y, z.

But if you don't want your T to do whatever you don't want them to do, that's everyone's right. But I don't think much good comes from telling people that their T's are being "bad."