Hang in there Ohlostme, it does get better.

As a kid with a noticable handicap I got bullied all the time. Then of course there was the abuse I went through for sexual assault is about power of one person over the other.

But then I was seeing a counselor at a rape crisis center and they were running therapeutic and support groups and one of them was an assertiveness and standing up for yourself. I was too shy to really do anything but listen back then but what was being talked about was sinking in because years later I stood up for myself in amazing ways.

So now I rarely get bullied and when I do I can recognize it almost right away and put a stop to it. for example when LL (therapist) co workers were butting their nose in where they didn't belong by tellling LL and I we had to be done (and on a deadline date at that) with working on my nightmare and the project surrounding the nightmare I refused to work on them during therapy time but am going to continue working on it at home.

They had no right to put that dead line on us so I turned the tables on them. LL and I will still work on this but now a majority of the work is going to be done in my home. This agency does do home visits and a part of what we are doing - the relaxation visualizations - does not require always using the surrounding project - the scale model. When we need the scale model I'll just schedule a home visit for they cannot tell me and LL what to do in my own home.

I have also found that real life isn't the only place that I encounter bullies. No matter where I go on line there are also bullies there that solicite or butt in where they don't belong.

Everyone knows that there are on line preditors that go after children but I have found that on line preditors also go after adults too, and some of the ways they do so alot of people don't always recognize the person as a preditor or bully. And they don't always know how to handle such preditors.

For example I am a member on a depression managemnt group (DBSA) and it never fails someone tries to tell me how I should post and what I can say and what I cant say, or just saying in general that I can't post to other people the way that I do.

I can understand people not liking what I say and how I say it. I could be posting a joke and the serious ones won't like it, I can be posting seriously and those that want to be cheery won't like it and so on.

Basically no matter what a person posts and talks about on line there is always gonig to be one person in the crowd that does not like or agree with what is being discussed.

Does that give them the right to bully those they don't agree with? No. Just like anyone else on line they can either read or don't read what they want. No one is forcing them to read my posts and what I talk about in chat.

Is it their job to tell me what to do on line? No that is the sole job of the moderators and administrators. Moderators and administrators are the only people that have a right in any on line group to tell the members that they are posting or talking unappropiately. No one else has that right to tell people they are doing wrong to other members of the group.

Now it would be different for example if I posted to Mm and Mm told me she didn't like me postig that way to her.

But Mm has no right to tell me that I am posting wrong to Pp.

This is in fact a rule of every on line group that I am in and for good reason - no one is going to agree with everyone and if everyone had the right to bully others by telling them they are posting or talking wrong then instead of a support group that group turns into a punishment group where everyone is at everyones cyber throat telling everyone else that they are posting and talking wrong. and then because no one can agree with what the standards are for this person doesn't like this word and that person doesn't like that word and so on, anyway there would be no DBSA support group or any other group for that matter because no one would be posting or chatting because there is always someone ready to say - don't say that don't write that, you are not doing it right.

So in order for the group to continue being a support group there is a rule in on line groups that ONLY the moderators and administrators have the right to "scold" or "punish" by telling someone they posted wrong.

When anyone in the general membership steps in to do this they are breaking one of the site rules and are in my opinion acting in the preditors bully mode.

When that happens to me no matter where I am on line I pretty much laugh at the jerks, and ignore their telling me that I have posted or said something wrong.
They don't like me or what I say and do thats their problem not mine.

It gets even funnier when someone tells me that they are glad that my post or threads got removed. They seem to think telling me they are glad that happened is going to hurt my feelings.

The funny part is that some to alot of times when my posts and threads get removed on my many on line support groups its done at my request. LOL

So these people telling me they are glad that I had a post or thread removed are actually wasting their time and energy for nothing but to brighten my day by showing me how obnoxious on line preditors can be.

Not to mention that alot of times these preditors are usually the ones that are vocal when their own threads and posts get removed. So what makes me laugh too is the act that I know if anyone engages in this type of bullying with the preditor they would go ballistic and be highly offended if someone said to them - hey I'm glad your post or thread got removed. LOL You know that saying treat people on line the way you want to be treated. I could have loads of fun with the preditors just by letting them know when I see they have posted something that cannot possibly happen with DID or any other disorder that I know alot about. Or I keep copies of posts so when I notice a post by a preditor has been removed and send the preditor their own "Im glad your post got removed" notice back to them. LOL

The best part of on line preditors is that they forget that their own posts, threads, pm's and chat behavior can be "saved" and used as evidence against them for on line preditors don't stop at bullying just one person. All the moderators and administrators of on line support and therapy groups have to do is follow the paper trails and compile the evidence and bye bye preditor from the site.

The way I see it be on line or in real life no one has the right to bully me and its up to me to stand up for myself and I do that in many ways be it letting the person know they overstepped my boundries, turning the tables on them or saving the evidence, laughing and ignoring them.

I could write forever on what I think of bullys both on line and in real life so I better stop now before you all end up reading a full length novel on the subject.