Hello, Kahrey, and welcome.

You do have a dilemma, but it is resolvable. You love him, despite his failure to provide for you as his wife, support you in your effort to improve your educational level, and saying "no" to the one major opportunity you have to improve everything for your life. The question is now does he love you, Kahrey?

You have only his past conduct on which to base your decisions. If you want to risk the same thing happening despite the fact that he is close to mom and dad, you're likely to see a gradual form of the old behavior emerging and remaining strong because he is close to familiar surroundings where mom and dad will offer the support for him that he wants and needs. The consequences of that are that you are left out of the picture again.

My thinking would be that you should take the offer in Denver, help him to understand that it's perfectly okay with you if he wishes to go back "home" to the McDonald's investments that his parents have. If, after you have finished your education, he has matured enough to become a husband to you, and you still love him, and neither of you has filed for divorce, you may be able to make something of a marriage.

Otherwise, it's going to remain a condition of immaturity and will only become more difficult for you to handle.

I think, honestly, that you're holding up remarkably well. I couldn't have done what you're doing. I don't think he knows what a husband is supposed to be. And you've given all that should ever be called for in a wife with all that you've done.

Go for the Denver job; you will never regret having increased your educational level.

If he matures in the interim, you will likely see him at your door in Denver one day not long after you've moved there. Until he does mature, it's better that you not see him at your door.

Take care of yourself now and look forward to a far happier time. You will develop new friends in Denver and probably love living in Colorado. It's certainly a beautiful state.

Continue to post as you feel the need to get this out of your system.

Gen