Thanks again for the replies. It does make a difference to know that others have gone through these types of things. Leed, I agree that the kids are the ones who get hurt in divorce, and that is something I am strongly considering. If we were to divorce, I would ensure they spent equal time with their father because they need him and he is a good dad. But even though divorce would not be great for the kids, I also don't want the relationship my husband and I have now to be their model for how relationships should be. And I think they deserve a mom who is happy and not so...tense. That affects them negatively as well. My husband and I are always walking on eggshells around each other, and show little affection. There is little laughter in our house. And as much as we pretend that things are hunky-dory, the kids can sense what's up. I think they deserve better, but I don't know how to give it to them. I know I have to be happy in the other things in my life (my life is very full aside from my marriage). As for meeting with the other person, I am on the fence. We are just friends - and neither of us want a relationship. But (and this may be TMI) sex is important and when it is gone for so long from your life, something has to give. I know it's not a good idea, but it's the first time I have felt anything remotely physical in a long time. And isn't a physical life important, too? This is not impulsive, I am thinking this through, but I see both sides. I agree with 3XMom that I am needing someone for affection, but it also may be true that I am not in the right place mentally to be making that kind of move. And really, if I have to sneak to do it, it can't be right. I am so frustrated about all of this! There just doesn't seem to be a good solution. Sometimes I think maybe I expect too much from my marriage. Maybe they all fizzle out. But then I think - no, it's more than a fizzle. We aren't even really friends, but two people living together with nothing in common but their children. Anyway, thanks for listening to my ranting. I don't guess there's a magic solution to any of this, but I'd like to handle it a little better than I seem to be handling it now. So any thoughts are welcome.