The she is straight and married was just an after thought. I am not interested in the ot in that way.

Yes I think you are right Butterflies, she read what I wished from my Pdoc but might have realized that it wouldn't happened and decided to take that roll on herself.

The hug was more an enough, it is the words even as a friend that I feel uncomfortable with. My care providers are well aware of the fact that I self loathe and hate myself very much. It has even been pointed out that if I can't love myself how can I love someone else, e.i. my wife. So to have an ot saying the very words I have been told I can't feel for someone else because of how I feel about me.

Is just odd I think. There was no way I could ever mutter those words back to her even on a good day.

LW