Last time my T went on vacation I attempted suicide and I've never ever missed a session, neither has he(except his two vacations but we always had phone/email contact). I have issues with rejection/abandonment(no idea where they stem from) but I called a few Ts last night and some of them sounded OK but I couldn't bring myself to make any new appointments. This is just too hard for me. I don't know why but my current T is the only one I've ever really connected with. I've been clinging to him since a month into the relationship and I feel like there's no going back but I'll have to figure something out. Quitting out of nowhere is not going to work. My T is like meth... can't throw that **** out!