That we will leave IS a fear of theirs. My T and I discussed this recently; what was interesting to me was that, he was acting on his mother issues, and I was acting on mine. But he was worried I would act on HIS mother issues, ie HE was experiencing plain old transference towards me. This realization has freed us both up.
I have complained from Day One that no T would ever be smart enough for me. But now I see how that is my major complaint about my parents actually not being competent to take care of me, and them not being able or willing to understand me. Now my sessions are more dialogue than (my) monologue, and it is becoming more important to me that I understand T, than that he understands me. For a while there, I was starting to question how, or if, anybody ever really understood anyone else.