Hi there.

A lot of great advice has already been offered, and I hope you take it to heart. I do hope you'll consider talking to both your Gyn and a T if you can. No point in ruling out either. I personally didn't know that women produced only that much lubrication naturally (thanks Helpme!), so I think telling your BF that and keeping some lubricant nearby would be just fine. My best friend has a bottle of KY on his nightstand at all times for his partner, among other things (I NEVER pass up the opportunity to tease him about his "collection" ).

To clarify, you said you were watching porn regularly by 14, but were you before then? Was your introduction to sex the typical "birds and bees" or the more...outlandish variety, so to speak? I ask because I wonder that if you were introduced to sex on a more "extreme" type than normal sex, you might have mentally "set the bar" there, and "plain Jane sex" simply won't cut it from a mental standpoint. That is where I'd recommend a therapist.

But before a therapist, I'd recommend being honest with your bf. If he knew what you were into, it might help him help you, so to speak. I do think it'd be best if a little painful to tell him about the time you were on your period. Tell him you feel bad about the lie, and that you simply panicked, and didn't know how to get out of it (and that you were drunk, which makes otherwise bad ideas seem like good ideas at the time). I'm not sure how to handle the subsequent use of the lie to get out of sex...I'd perhaps explain (in no uncertain terms) that sex while you are dry is very painful (or at least I would imagine it to be), and that you were worried that you would upset him, and that the fib was an easy crutch to fall back on to get out of it without hurting him. I think he'll understand if you convey how you feel about it, and how painful a situation this is to you emotionally. I'm not sure if it's necessary to tell him you've NEVER orgasmed EVER...but that's up to you. You can convey that you're having problems with sexual gratification without that detail, I should think.

Continuing with the honesty, would your bf be willing to indulge in any of your fantasies, do you think? As long as they aren't anything physically dangerous, I don't think there's a problem. I'd beg you to relax as far as feeling bad about the taboo fetishes...a lot of people have them, myself included to some extents, and as long as it's a fantasy/erotic literature and not reality, it's okay. The fact you DO feel a little guilt at thinking about it indicate a healthy moral compass, and you shouldn't worry.

It might be a site no no, but I'd echo the advice given that you need to learn yourself. Masturbation is a great way to do so, and in your case, I'd recommend it. You sound uncertain as to whether or not you've actually climaxed...I can't really help you there as to what to expect (I'm a male ), but when you know, you'll know.

If I can be of any further help, please don't hesitate to PM me. Please take care, and my best to you.