I do feel guilty for certain selfish qualities I have, but spending money on myself is not one of them. No one else is spending money on me. No one else is around to look after me. So I have to do it.

For the longest time I was the biggest ascetic. I am still frugal and self-depriving, but I'm starting to feel that I can't completely free myself from depression unless I learn to have some fun. And spending money is a part of this.