Quote:
Originally Posted by Kahrey
Hello Yuumi, I'm not much older than you, twenty-four, and my symptoms are very similar to yours. I wouldn't go to a doctor until a close friend worked at least a year to convince me to go.
I was very self-harming as a child, though no one knew, but I grew out of it. Recently, my suicidal thoughts have gotten worse and I have cut myself a few times as an alternative to committing suicide.
Despite your mistrust for the hospitals there, it couldn't hurt to give it a try. The worst thing that could happen is that they tell you there's nothing wrong. As bad off as I am right now, I am medicated and definitely better. If there's a chance of getting help, maybe you could try it out anyways.
As for the self-harming, there's just no point. It doesn't make anything any better. The feeling is just part of a cycle that is going to keep coming back. You have to learn not to give in to it. You're better than your illness. You can do it.
|
Thanks for your encouragement.
Other than my mistrust of large business establishments (including hospitals), another reason why I don't want to go is because I can't do it without my parents finding out about it. My parents think what I'm going through is something caused by my fascination with dark things and my overall gothic lifestyle, when it isn't (I've been hurting myself since I was twelve; I didn't get into the gothic subculture until I was fourteen). My father practically thinks I'm crazy and my mother thinks I need to go to church (because my lack of faith in their god has apparently caused me to become this way). I can't afford to get myself checked on my own because I don't have insurance or my own income (I work at home, helping around at my parent's internet shop). If any of my family members find out about me seeking help about my condition, they're going to think it's absurd because "it's all in my head". Not a really good situation to be in, so I'd rather bear it as much as I can until I finish college, go back to the US, and get myself a job.