I wouldn't say I enjoy it, but I remember considering the alternative one day: being well. Doing everything I want to do and enjoying it, succeeding in life, being able to talk to people without beating myself up about something I said wrong later... and then I started feeling anxious! It's almost like there's a familiarity to this depression, and just feeling good, no strings attached... I can't handle that feeling. When I have my rare good days (which I assume is how 'normal' people feel), it feels so good it's almost overwhelming.

It's a demon all right, but one that's practically become your shadow.

I'm thinking I'd better try and pull myself out before I get too comfortable with this... I can see myself being depressed the rest of my life and I don't like it.