If I know an event will happen and it will be tough, I prefer to talk about it in session before it happens so we can discuss what makes it tough and how to handle and respond to the situation, so my reaction isn't as bad. If I waited til right after, I would be too much of a mess to get through the event, so the event may not even happen. I might curl up in bed during the family visit or completely ditch the event. If I was to wait for things to calm down, yes I would be a mess during the event, but it would help to show me that I can handle things and they aren't as bad as they seem. Before would be the best choice for me.