my T's told me (for 30 years) to quit subjecting myself to the triggering events - seeing my family of origin - because it was hampering the progress I was making in therapy. kinda hard to do when you have one cute little nephew and no kids of your own. so I deteriorated for another 20-some years - again, not a good plan. wish I had pulled away before he was born, but I couldn't withstand my parents' threats then. so now I am leaving her alone in her old age, after an unhappy and unfulfilled life of my own, cos seeing her or just seeing her name on my phone gives me heart palpitations.

What does your T say about this? why "must" you continue to participate in these events? is there really no way out?