I also want to say that I am a little uncomfortable talking about this publically because I do understand that I have to get through this myself... that has always been my life philosophy with regard to everything and it is no different now. I don't think I should have to rely on my friends to get me through this, this is my problem, not theirs.

But on the other hand I wonder about the practicallity of being able to do this alone, with no support from family or friends. It has become difficult or impossible for me to get out at all at this point, even for support groups (I am going to make that a priority tomorrow) so I am literally alone im my house for months at a time. If i do get someone to visit it gives me anxiety and i wonder if it would be better just to not expect anyone at all, ever, than to have someone come once every three months which mainly reminds me of how alone i am.

So although I whine about this a lot, i do understand that even if they were here in full support, I can't rely on them for answers because I have to find that within me. But it is on my mind a lot and it does hurt me very much so I mention it here a lot.

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-- The world is what we make of it --
-- Dave
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