Quote:
Originally Posted by Perna
If you want to keep seeing her, make it work. Her being concerned that you may need more support or expertise is a caring, helpful comment (especially if you keep telling her she's not enough and is going to leave you). It's not so much whether another person can help or not as whether we are willing to use what help is offered. If you want to work with her, make a decision to quit pushing her away and practice following through on your decisions. I decided not to do "fetal position" either literally or emotionally so I just kept talking, kept trying, kept going through tears, terror, whatever. I was in therapy because what I had been doing wasn't working (not because my therapist could do X, Y, or Z "about" me and my thoughts and behavior).
Decide to quit saying "no"? Doesn't matter how many degrees or what training a therapist has if you won't let them use it.
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I don't keep telling her she's not enough, i always tell her all i need is her to keep doing what she's doing. Yes i've worried that she'll leave because that is my experience in life that people can't tolerate me and eventually give up. I thought being honest about that was a good thing. I do follow thru on my decisions, i have NEVER in a year ever missed an appointment or cancelled. I show up on time, i pay on time, i take her advice where i feel i can, it's been 8 weeks since i last self-harmed and i am about to start college next week after dropping out at the beginning of the year. I feel i am pro-active. Also, i don't care what qualifications she has or hasn't, i agree it's the relationship that is most important, it's her who is concerned that she's not meeting my needs, that she's gone as far as she can to help me.
Yes i maybe push her away a little bit when i feel vulnerable but i always end up talking to her about it. But i do a lot of reading in between sessions, i have found my own coping mechanism in regards to the self-harm which i'm finding really hard not to do, but have refrained from it. I worry a lot about being too much for her, emailing too much etc etc but other than that i try my best in therapy.