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Originally Posted by Shangrala
Hi all~
It's been a while since I've been here last. All's been going very well with me for sometime now and life's been on the uprising. I have no complaints, really, (or, shouldn't have).
I've learned how to alter my life to the point where my entire diet has changed to healthy living. Organic and fresh farm produce. I've even gone so far as to change the oils I use to cook with and have added natural herbs and algae to my daily diet to remove toxins and maintain health that way. I've had a recent check up and have received a clean bill of health..lol. Even my relationship with my hub has done a 180. It's great and we're doing alright financially. No real stress there.
Sounds like everything is wonderful, right? I would think so, as well, except..I have this HUGE problem with lack of motivation, energy, desire...or whatever. I cannot seem to get myself going, despite what I do. I don't understand it whatsoever. I have absolutely no reason to feel so lifeless, yet I struggle with it on a daily basis.
Couple years ago I was dx'd with depression, ptsd and anxiety. Gone through 3 different types of therapy sessions simultaneously and was prescribed 2 different meds to help get me past my hump. I successfully got through all of that and was taken off the meds. Everything was going well after that, which lasted for sometime until these past few months I seemed to have been slowly losing my "Umph" to the point where I am now.
Beautiful weather outside. No reason not to be out. I WANT to be out, yet, just can't seem to get myself out there. Lately, I even have difficulty with keeping up with simple chores and daily hygiene. I don't want this happening.
Does it sound like I'm slipping back into depression again? If so, why would I be?
I admit, that I'm lonely. I haven't anyone with whom I can socialize anymore.
It just seems like...I'm TIRED all the time. I just don't understand it.
Help? Any suggestions?
Thanks~
Shangrala
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Hi Shangrala.....Well first off, congratulations on all the healthy changes you have made in your diet, etc. I sure need to follow your example on all that.....always intending, never quite getting there. One thing that confuses me, not to pry, but you say your relationship with your husband has gotten better (paraphrasing), but then you also say you don't have anyone to socialize with? Hmm. But anyway, more to the point, omg, when you say that you "don't want this happening" the words go right to my heart, as I am right there with you. So, you ask if it sounds like you might be slipping back into depression, and if so why this might be happening? Just my opinion, of course, but from what you say it does sound like that's a possibility. And as to the "why", oh that's such a tough one. The thing is, depression is an "evil trickster" (to quote a therapist in my past). It ~"he" cares about no one, and plays by his own rules. Of course we must continue to do whatever we can to "fight" him....and it sure sounds like you've done a lot of great things....but at the same time to understand that he is sneaky, and to try and make sense of things when he is affecting your thoughts and feelings is so difficult. I know I'm rambling, but I've just been through so many years of dealing with all this. Bottom line, though, to try to apply "logical" thought to completely illogical things (the "why" of depression), is indeed a challenge. Have no idea whether all this makes a bit of sense to you, but those are my thoughts. I say just keep fighting the good fight, and keep your mind open to returning to meds and ~or therapy as needed. Warm wishes and best of luck.....
