Hi anthony 81 - seems by your various threads you're looking to understand yourself and women more. I think this thread in better in the Sexuality forum since not everyone is comfortable talking about this subject. Attraction and chemistry is different for everyone...so what's appealing to one might be a turn off to another. To answer your last question - no..the fact that we're built different isn't the reason. Yes self control is important. When you think you're getting to the point of intimacy - ask the woman what pleases her. For couples who live together ....foreplay starts long before the clothes are off - things like kindness, being helpful are turn ons too. You asked on another thread...how come men can easily have sex even if they're not emotionally intimate? This is one big difference unless a woman is a prostitute who acts lol. Men can have sex without things being emotionally intimate but most women can't. Men can also have sex when they're super stressed or upset but women usually can't. Sex is very emotionally linked for most of us. I haven't read this book but it seems this is a good book or ask in the mens forum what books are good. You'll have the best chance if you figure out what your partner likes and please her - pleasing her will make her happy and hopefully you'll reap the benefits in return.

http://www.amazon.com/She-Comes-Firs.../dp/0060538252