I'm so, so sorry...

I do think it is very, very low of him to up and bail like that...that's the mark of a boy, not a man. I know this must be hard on you, him being your first. Every woman deserves to have her first time be a special moment (at least as I see it), and I'm deeply sorry he's ruined that for you.

How old is he, same age? Is this his first time as well? If so, it's possible he's nervous or scared. Sometimes we guys can be scared the first time, much like some girls are. I remember once I left a relationship I was in because I felt like things were taking a turn that I wasn't ready for, and I'll be honest, I could have handled it better, I admit. I know I hurt her feelings when I left. But it's a scary prospect, and it is exacerbated by youth. Unfortunately, he took that turn with you before measuring what it meant for him. That is his fault, and I don't think he understood what it meant for him or you.

Please don't let this jade you. We aren't all "douchebags," I promise. We have a penchant for it with some specimens of our gender, sure, but there are just as many good guys out there are there are good women.

As far as you for the here and now, I would tell you to talk to him. It might be hard at first...I know you're hurt and angry at him. You have every right to be. But try at least to understand why he ran as he did...it might set your mind at ease, and it might be a lot less sinister of a reason than you think. It doesn't excuse him, but it might help you, you know?

And please, never in the future give yourself to someone because it's what you think they want. Sex is a conscious decision between TWO consenting adults. You need to be ready and want it just as much as your partner. If you have any reservation about it whatsoever, you have every right to say no. That is your right as a human being.

Please take care, and try to keep your chin up. This too shall pass. Please feel free to PM me if you need me, and know I am keeping you in my prayers.