I hated to admit it, but the abuse had definitely shaped me. It was through talking about the abuse that I was finally able to makie sense of my feelings of helplessness, anger issues, intimacy issues, you name it. The past abuse is not separate from the person we are today. As you begin to talk about it you will find relief, you will be able to process the abuse and integrate it. Yes, it takes a certain level of trust, you need to feel fairly safe with your therapist, to allow yourself to access your deepest emotions, and to allow yourself to be vulnerable in the process. When you're ready, at your own pace. In the meantime, take gentle care. And yes, I can definitely relate to what you say.. You've articulated it so well. One day you will realize that your sense of failure is not about your actual failure, it's perhaps about your failure to protect yourself, which of course is not your fault! You were incapable of protecting yourself, poor little girl! It was up to the adults to protect you! Oh how sad that they didn't.
I hope you find healing soon.