z123,

I'm 41 y.o, and I've been struggling with major depression and self-hate for as long as I can remember. I, thankfully, have some days and weeks better than others. But, for the most part, every day involves a significant struggle or two.

Most people that I have become involved with, over the years, haven't truly understood the severity of my depression until they've seen it right before them day after day after day again. I do have 2 young children, which I use as self-motivation to stay alive. That works for me. Other than my daughters, I focus on the beauty of nature. Very simple nature ~ not people! Just birds, trees, flowers, tall grass, clouds, and rocks. Bringing people into my thoughts always brings me into darker side of my thoughts and emotions.

I wish that I could blame one particular cause of my problems, like anxiety or depression. But, it isn't ever that simple. Not in my world.

Best wishes to you...