Quote:
Originally Posted by anthony81
I'm just tired of girls instantly categorizing guys into these convenient box descriptions like "just a friend", and "creeper" as soon as we meet them, but then drooling over someone like Richard Gere or Brad Pitt and probably jumping Right into bed with them instantly without hesitation!
Let's say they are not actors, for arguments sake. I think the same outcome would occur. Girls will likely sleep with them but the nice guy trying to talk to them at the mall will be just another "creeper" they make fun of with their friends.
So what is it about Those two men that makes them so appealing? I'd love to know what a woman really feels and thinks when she sees a guy like that vs. the guy talking to her at the mall who she will never get with.
What are some "triggers" that occur? a feeling of security? a feeling of intense passion? a feeling you should have him because all the other girls want him?
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Something that I find to be a turn-on is a guy that doesn't put on a fake BS act to impress me. These "nice guys"... they're usually not all that nice. They're nice in a manipulative way. They think that if you put enough kindness coins into a woman, she'll be obligated to reciprocate, likely through sex. Essentially, these "nice guys" tend to have a sense of entitlement. "I'm nice to you, therefore, you owe me." They're not just nice for the sake of being nice. It isn't who they are. It's cold and calculated.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that women all want a guy that's a massive jerk. What I am saying is that women tend to be attracted to a man where what you see is what you get. There's no act. He likes what he likes, and he is who he is. He isn't going to pretend to be interested in the same things as you for the sake of making a fake connection. He isn't desperate for your attention, he isn't going to text you 20 times in 5 minutes if he calls you and you don't pick up.
These nice guys do themselves a disservice of becoming a doormat. They absorb the interests of the girl, essentially going out of there way to become everything that they think the girl wants, and the girl likely notices that. However, most girls don't want someone to go out of their way to be perfect for them. Most girls don't even know what they want to begin with, haha. That being said, we want someone who is just REAL. No masks, no acting.
It's hard to say that in seeing your other posts, because on a personal level, I feel like it's hard to tell you to just be "you" when that isn't working for you. However, in this situation, give a girl a chance to get to know the real "you" on an emotional basis FIRST. Talk to her about your interests, and ask her about hers. Leave anything bedroom-related out of it. Learn to socialize before you sexualize. The more you get to know women outside of the bedroom, the easier it's going to be for you to be yourself while meeting someone. I know you said you don't like bars, but they're an alright place to start if you're just talking. Don't go out of your way to compliment these women or touch them. Just talk to them. If bars don't work, try things on meetup.com, maybe singles groups or something like that.