Monday my parents left for a roadtrip at two, and i decided to clean the entire house spotless as a surprise for them. I worked from 2pm-1am taking quick peeks at my facebook, etc and eating. For dinner, I decided to make my own meal that had no instructions, which was spaghetti and a bland store-brand marina sauce that I turned into my own little recipe.

I was unable to get to sleep until after 2:30 and set my alarm clock to 6:45 in hopes of being able to finish early to have downtime before a big date, and also so I could go to safeway when it first opened to get bacon and cleaning supplies. I ended up spending $40 out of my own pocket for a mop I've really wanted to get and cleaning supplies that I wanted. I was exhausted, but when I came home I made scrambled eggs and bacon. I pushed myself to work harder until my brother informed me he needed me to drive him to a funeral. By the time I was home it was too late to drive down to meet a date because I was too exhausted to want to go and I wasn't done with cleaning. I continued to work until 3:30 when I finished.

While I was working, my train of thought was rather odd. There was the methodical need to work and the "first I got to do this, and then that, and I need this to do this" But I was also stressing over a member's thread and worries about my big date that forced me to work harder. I started realizing that maybe I am working myself into mania when I started thinking about how I needed to get tattoos right away and pierce my ears and dye my hair purple and spend money on cleaning supplies and clothes. I also felt jet-lagged, like it felt like 8pm instead of 4pm.

I have recently changed my dose where I added 2.5mg of zyprexa and another 300mg of lithium. I decided to add another 2.5 zyprexa to make 5mg today to just calm my thoughts down and hopefully make me sleepy. It's 12:32 so idk how much it's helping.

Does this sound like mania too you? Or am I just working myself crazy?