Seriously. Everyone else seems to enjoy casual sex and casual relationships. It just makes me feel more like a broken outsider when I can't see anything but the potential for more hurt and abuse when I think about hooking up with someone. I'm so tired of feeling this way!
I like someone right now and he says that he likes me but I'm having a lot of difficulty accepting that. He says that he wants to keep his relationships with people open and my prudish mind can't see that as anything other than disrespectful. Now I'm in pain and I'm torn between allowing myself to get closer to this person who has relations with people that I don't understand or just running away from him completely. I just don't get polyamory of casual sex. I tried to understand but it all just seems like potentially dangerous, vapid ********; an excuse to use people.
I'm really tired of feeling like such a freak. Maybe I'll luck out and the effexor I'm on will rid me of my sexual urges.
*sigh*