I don't think that you are a freak at all. Wanting a loving, committed and monogamous relationship is good! Maybe you aren't looking in the right places for a healthy mate? One thing that I have learned is that when we grow up in a dysfunctional environment and it affects our self worth, that being around healthy people can make you feel bad about yourself. Healthy people really see you and when they really see you and you don't feel good about yourself it is painful. When around unhealthy people, who don't see you, you can hide and it feels more comfortable. I had to work through this so that I could tolerate being around healthy people. Now I avoid unhealthy people like crazy. They make life much worse. (I don't avoid people with problems, though, I just avoid the ones who are harmful).

You deserve a good mate. Don't give up finding one and don't settle for less!