Hello...I, too, was anti-meds until the depression got so bad that I couldn't get out of bed without crying and thinking very dark, lonely thoughts. When people who really cared for me suggested that meds would help, I still resisted. Eventually, I saw my primary MD and started a low dose of Cymbalta. I'm about 6 weeks into it, and I acknowledge that it is helping. When it's a newer medication, often you can tell your doc that you need samples, and that will defray some of the cost.

Also, when/if you do go on medication again, please don't stop cold turkey. That can cause all kinds of problems. I stopped wellbutrin abruptly, and was a mess for about 2 weeks...further, do not drink on any medication - it screws everything up. If the first med didn't work, then ask for another - I was on lexapro once, and it worked like a charm. The next time, it was horrible...then wellbutrin (didn't work), and now cymbalta with medical supervision and good success...