He did! He said that we have everything figured out now. He said that I can even reduce the Abilify down 25 percent after this next week. My wife reports that I am doing good. In our visists.. I just nod in agreement. What am I supposed to do?

Am I supposed to say that I cry every morning even though I am not depressed. Am I supposed to say that the idea of work is killing me even though I am more than capable? I should be okay. I'm not swinging. I have little depression and no hypo. But this feels unbearable anyways. What's up with that? Wtf is that happy place that I am supposed to find.

I feel like the matrix with the meds... take one pill and forget everything and keep living the life you have always known...
Or take the meds and find the truth. Nothing great, just the truth.

And the truth is... life sucks! What is it we are trying to acheive here when a 'normal' life is just as screwed up as the one that I have always known. I tried to be positive. I tried. I don't want to be quoting people anymore saying to stay positive.

maybe i need to go back into psychotherapy.