(((((((((((((((((((esthersvirtue))))))))))))))))))

I feel your pain. Idont really like talking about my abuse as well. I want people to see me for me, not someone that has been put through hell and back. I used to think that I was made of glass and that everyone could see that I was sexually abused for years. i treid to ignore the fact that i was abused. hoping it would go away.. of course it didnt. I was afraid to talk about because like you i was afraid that people would think i was using it as an excuse. It wasnt until my hubsand started talking to me and he would listen without judgment and he would talk to me about what happened, that I felt that it was ok.. Therapy started because I was having a hard time dealing with the effects of my abuse. it was wearing me out... I still have moments, but they are easier to deal with. I realize now that by talking about it, we arent making excuses for ourselves.

please be easy on yourself