I can definitely relate to your reasons for cutting. One of mine is to release pressure that I feel. When I want to cut it feels like my arms are going to explode. I do it when depressed, angry, vengeful, or just because I can. It always calms me down, numbs me off physically, and I get a high from cutting. I love to cut. I'm not gonna lie about that. What's the reward I get? I feel great pride after I cut, regardless of what others think. Oh, I just thought of a few more reasons...for punishing myself for doing wrong to others and hurting myself before anyone else can.