I have suffered from anxiety/panic disorder for over 10 years now. I thought that I had been doing well warding off the panic attacks.

Tonight was Bingo in the apartment community where I live. I have went the last 2 times, and only mildly embarrased myself mildly. Tonight I decided I would be ok, even though my Pdoc increased my Valium last week. Mostly I live in an Elderly and Disabled Apartment building. There were no more than 10 people in the community room for bingo, and I picked my seat in the corner table facing the room, clear escape path, and my back to a wall. I thought I could do it. Then it started the coughing, I took a sip of water trying to overcome it. It was too strong. Right in the middle of numbers being called I held in the coughing and bolted out of the room and to the outside exit. I sat on the bench coughing, feeling so upset.

After about 10 minutes I shamefully went back in to the room, and put away my things, gathered my things. And in almost a whisper said that I wasn't feeling well. Now here safe in my apartment just 3 floors up. I feel so humiliated. I can't even be in a room with 10 elderly folks to play bingo.

I am better off just to stay at home like usual. I have no idea how I have become what I am socialy impaired to the point I can barely verbalize myself in a conversation.

Thanks for listening

Take Care,
Kris

If you think you have totally gave up, you haven't, because you are here!