I don't really have any advice, but wanted to say how sorry I am that you are struggling so much. I'm glad you posted on here! If you ever want to just vent you are always welcome to send me a message! I hope things calm down for you a bit and you start to feel better.
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dailyhealing
"Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it." - Helen Keller Strange how people who suffer together have stronger connections than those who are most content. –Bob Dylan “If you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.” Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
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