Tinkerbell , i am sorry for your loss, it hurts when we lose a loved one, even one that we may not have been along with or the nicest person to, they are still and will ever be our loved ones, and it hurts, just because you didnt get to see her does not mean your mom didnt smile as she recanted your life through her eyes, watching you grow into into person you are, , , could you, Ever, Not ' love your own child ? could you ever not love your own mom? your mom may have been really po'd at you, but she loved you very much, you can bet she wants nothing but Your happiness, and she loved you very much, thats just what moms do , i hope this helps