Thanks guys. It's not really about the individual inconveniences. I actually AM really flexible when plans change. It drives some of my friends crazy, in fact. But in my stepmom's case, it hurts my feelings to be dismissed so quickly, but I'm still expected to accommodate other people's plans and lifestyles and but then am accused of being 'selfish' when I say 'no'. Not to mention me being disappointed because it means that I don't get to spend time with her.

She was here for 3 weeks in April. The original plan was that she was going to stay with us the entire time. The day she arrived, one of my stepbrothers offered to let her stay with him for the first night. Subsequently, I saw her for about an hour total during the entire duration of her trip. That was when she was getting everyone together for a family photo at my other stepbrother's wedding, and she didn't ask me or my husband to be included in the group. When I asked her about it afterwards, she said that she couldn't find me and that I shouldn't expect to put the photographer on hold while she ran around to look for me. I was standing right there - she didn't even try to look. I would have spoken up at the time but I thought maybe there would be several rounds of photos -- some with the biological family, some with the extended family, etc. Next thing I knew, the 'family' photo session was over and everyone dispersed.

These are the kinds of things that make me want to blow my stack when she expects me to be 'flexible' when my stepbrothers become available for her. I get dropped like a hot potato. It really, really hurts my feelings.

Thanks for your support and ideas, guys. You're both so nice to me