When my T gives me suggestions, and then I lack the energy or initiative or whatever to actually implement those suggestions, I then end up beating myself up for my 'failure' or laziness or whatever in not following through. Please do not do that to yourself.

My T and I discussed this last session, and I was finally able to make the connection to how I treat abused animals that I rehab. With abused animals (particularly horses), I teach them a cue to calm down. With a dog, it's 'settle' and I get them on a down or some activity that settles them down. With a horse, it's 'put your head down' because horses have a physiological response to putting their heads down: their heart rate and breathing rate slow and they automatically feel calmer. Anyway, we practice those cues A LOT in calm situations until the response is automatic. Then we add small amounts of excitement/stress until the animal is still able to just respond automatically to the cue and calm down even under large amounts of stress. It takes a lot of work and a lot of practice, and I NEVER give myself the grace or the latitude to make mistakes or forget that I give these animals. I need to start doing that, and so do you. Also, my T pointed out that the animal has me right there cuing for the need to calm down. You and rest of us, we all have to learn to cue ourselves of the need to calm down, feel better, treat ourselves better, so it's even that much harder.

Anyway. A really long way of saying, I hope that you are kind to yourself and cut yourself some slack as you try to work your way out of this low mood.