Try not to feel this way Panic is a formidable foe. I still have great problems with choking on food. It's finally to where, if I'm eating alone, even in the restaurant, I probably won't choke. BUT if I'm trying to be with anyone... forget it. Once I was in uniform and had to can the "regulations" and tear off the tab and open the collar. The other officer there was expecting to have to do cpr or heimlich on me... we had to leave, with all other officers in mess watching...

I used to be able to give speeches to LARGE audiences. No way now.

Please don't give up. Especially in the setting you are, they will understand if you give a brief explanation, and ask for their understanding. Maybe you could go and not plan to play, but stay only a few minutes and leave before any "problems?" That might begin to reprogram your inclination for panic?

I'm still thinking about this...

<font color=blue> meditation is a true way to connect to the Source </font color=blue>